Saturday, May 21, 2011

My Skyscraper..

I build up my outside to protect my insides,
I build a fence up so high so that no one can even see over it to see what's going on; and that's the way I like it,
My guard is a skyscraper..
The problem is, this skyscraper wobbles too often..
When I begin to get feelings for, love and fall in love with someone, my skyscraper gets as weak as weak can crumbles..
Similar to the way a mother protects her young, she's overprotective, she knows that her child is young, gullible, vulnerable and naive..and it's a cold cold world out there..that's the protection I have for my insides..
My skyscraper crumbles to these strangers I call myself loving..
 And there my insides are, exposed, out, in the open, and taken for a joke..
..crushed, ruined, and trampled over..
My insides are my feelings, they're my emotions..
Look down into that river over there again, that river in 'The Over-Thinking Mind', that mind..with all those thoughts, the billions of thoughts..? ..Those represent my emotions as well..
..yeah, I'm complex, but I'm not..
But, why does this crumbling skyscraper seem to be a pattern?
This isn't acceptable.. This can't be continuous..
I crumble when I shouldn't..
And the sad part about it is, it's slightly voluntary..
Smh, shame on me, and no one else but me..
Place blame where blame is due..
But, these things all happen for a reason..
You live and you learn..
And this I've learned..
I'm not excluding myself from activities, relations, or even relationships,
I'm just protecting my feelings, my heart..
But the one thing that I'm unclear of is: in which way should I do this..?
I can either be simply emotionless (cold) or try to find some type of balance..
I think finding a balance can be quite difficult for me, because that means that some strangers, some lurkers, some falsifiers can still slip through the cracks..leaving me in my current predicament..
But for me to be cold just simply wouldn't be fair..
Why should the next man have to suffer for something that the previous chose not to treasure??
Why should I snatch or refuse to even include my emotions into something that may deserve it?
Why should I deprive my next rose of an emotional connection, a great vibe & beauty because I've been torched in the past?
Whomever I come across doesn't deserve that..and that wouldn't be fair.. wouldn't be fair to them or what we could become.
Why not take the next seriously because the last one didn't take me seriously?
My hurt, my pain, my heartbreak shouldn't be a legacy..and I'll try my best to keep it from being one..
So, once again, I'm stuck.. (as always, lol) .. It never fails..
I suppose this is just another life lesson that I have to continue and journey on to find the answer to..
But wherever it is, I just hope I find it soon..

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Alter My Vision..

Currently, I'm at a crossroads in my life..
I'm trying to figure out which path I should start making my way down..
..which path is best for me, which path is more efficient for me, which path has my best interest at heart..?
There's only one thing that can make being at a crossroads more difficult than what it already is..being alone..
..and that I am..
Despite how unofficial things are, I shouldn't have to feel this way..
I shouldn't have to cry myself to sleep every night,
I shouldn't have to feel deprived..
..for all that, I might as well be lonely in every way..
I look to my left, I see defeat,
I look ahead of me, I see failure,
I look to my right, I see myself quitting..
I need someone to Alter My Vision..
I need someone to come along and make me see this crossroads differently,
As they come up from behind me and hold me in their vision will be altered..
As I look to my left, I'll see myself conquer,
As I look ahead of me, I'll see excess,
As I look to my right, I'll see myself continue to prosper..
But until you come along, or make yourself known, I'll do what I have to do on my own.
I don't need anyone if I'm going to feel lonely, unloved and deprived like this..and that's fine.
I'll patiently wait for you to come along, because I don't want to settle for anyone who just isn't you.
I'm waiting for you, whoever you are, wherever you may be..
..but whoever you are, please don't leave me waiting forever..not that I'll go anywhere, I just want you now..

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My Weird Gets in the Way..

Often times I feel as though my weird gets in the way..
What's my weird? ..Ask me, and I guarantee you I won't be able to tell you..
If I don't intrigue you, I'd much rather for you to not be a part of my life..
Because you must truly be intrigued by me, my actions, my ways, my thoughts, the way in which my mind works, my beauty-internal as well as external, my chemistry, my past, my present, my future, my drive, my goals, my aspirations, and Kandis as a complete bundle in order to even try to compile an idea of just how weird I am..
I cannot verbally convey to you or anyone else just how weird I am, so, if you aren't intrigued by me in any sort of way, you'll have no drive to figure me out for yourself.
At this point, you've taken a responsibility to be a part of my life, and part of that responsibility is to figure me out for yourself. If that's something that you feel as though you aren't willing to do or you aren't able do, the door is always open..
I would say 'sorry', but at this point in life, I've come to grips with the fact that apologies for things that you have no control over, nor did you cause, are pointless, useless, and a waste of time..
Figure me out.. That's what I want..
..because once you do, for yourself, the knowledge that you've acquired via time, energy & thoughts with me will speak so much louder than what I could ever tell you.
..and then you'll know just how weird I really am..
And honestly, I'd love for you to figure me out, and figure out how and why I tick the way I do.. That way when those times come when I don't even understand myself, you'll be able to tell me a lil somethin' about myself.. Teach me a thing or two.. ;)
I'm not easy to 'get' or 'understand'.. But I promise you, I damn sure don't try hard to be.. As hard as it may be to believe..
Soo, get to know my weird.. But most importantly, get used to it, because it's not going anywhere..
I would say 'Good luck!'..but instead, I'll say:
Be blessed with this!!!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Make Me Diurnal..

My Mindset's Point of View..

That day..April 15th, 2011 to be precise, The Sun couldn't've shined any brighter.. Into my life came the brightest, sweetest, most gentle, genuine ball of happiness all wrapped into one living being.. What did I do to deserve such greatness? This, was the best day of my life.. or it could be April 9th, 2011, when I decided to contact The Sun for the first time via text? *shrugs* Either way, I see a new chapter in my life beginning. I know life is no fairy tale, but I'll try my darndest to keep The Sun up.. Make me diurnal.. These are my first couple of days w/ The Sun..and from what I've seen and encountered, make me diurnal.. I've encountered my first eclipse w/ The Sun, and oh how bright it was. I glow in the light of The Sun as it shines down on me. I boasted for joy as it shone it's gleaming lights inside of me, through me, as The Sun boasted w/ me.. While encountering an eclipse may be joyous, it's an emotional connection that I share w/ The Sun, despite whether it may be mutual or not. But it isn't the fact that I'm simply in an eclipse that makes it joyous, emotional and worthwhile, it's the fact that I'm in this eclipse with none other than The Sun.. And from now on, I'd have it no other way.. This is precisely how I feel, and whether these feelings be mutual or not, they will be here, and they will not diminish.. Instead, I'm more than positive they will flourish.. I told The Sun yesterday, this is not any type of temporary feeling. Why would I want any type of temporary feeling? In any and EVERYthing that I do, I seek stability.. Though it's early and The Sun just came up, I'm confident in my feelings and what they're telling me. I'm content w/ the fact that I feel this way. I'm not too sure how to express all of these feelings to The seems like it may be a bit much to be so early, and I certainly don't want to run The Sun away.. But this is how I feel.. So what do I do? Do I conceal how I feel..? ..Or risk having The Sun go down? Smh, idk. I'm stuck, I'm lost, I'm confused..but with whatever happens, please, just Make Me Diurnal.. ≈≠

Monday, March 28, 2011

An Image of the Over-Thinking Mind..

The mind that thinks too much is precisely that - and nothing less..
The mind that thinks too much, that over analyzes, that won't let a thought go suffers..
This mind works off of time and time thought is too small, no thought is too huge..overbearing? ..maybe
To think what this life would be like if only it could think, function, and do things as other, simpler minds did..
To think how peaceful, and less stressful life would be if the the mind that thought too much knew how to not think..
Such a thought seems so simple to the ordinary, regular mind..
..but this is a verb that cannot even be put into action by such a powerful, over-thinking machine..
How easy would life be if it could simply let one thought go..let alone millions and millions and millions..
Think you can imagine what the mind over an over-thinker looks like? ..Here's some imagery for you:
In the park, ..take a walk over here..closer, closer, over here, at the edge..look down..
..down'll see the mind of the over-thinker..
..This dense river..populated with over a trillion fish swimming as fast as the speed of light..
..these fish..are thoughts..
Imagine the confusion, or the disarray that takes place inside of that mind on such a consistent basis?
..this is something you'll never be able to understand..unless this is you..
Build castles in the air about how difficult it might be to grab one of these thoughts, look at it in the eye, and explain it to whose asking the question that irritates all over-thinking minds.. "What's running through your mind?"
It'd be like stabbing a fish in a river full of goal oriented fish simply trying to get to the 'end' of the river, looking it in the eyes, and taking a bite out of it..right then and there.

So, please, bare with this mind, keep it, hold it, cuddle with it, embrace it..that's all it wants, and that'll make it feel a lot better..understand that this is not your 'typical' mind..
This mind can't always explain what you want it to when you want it to..but when it can, it will.
How else would I be able to explain it all?
Sometimes it seems more like a handicap than anything..but I deal with it..
And I'm embracing it all.. ≈≠

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


Lately, I’m not sure what this substance is that’s been running through my body..
Typically, I’m the type of person to make logical decisions and follow my mind, I am strong minded..
But lately, ..lately, my mind has freely let another component of my body make the decisions; with ease..
Why? What is it? What is this?
..This is us..
This is not love running through my body, in my veins..
This intangible substance running through me, at all times has an aura of warmth, togetherness, a combination of you, me, ..and eternity..
A mind is a powerful thing to waste, and by all means, my mind knows that..
If at any point in time my mind feels threatened that someone or something is taking over, it’ll eliminate it..with the quickness.
But this, this right here, this thing that seemingly can’t be controlled, my mind loves it..
It’s like my mind has made a partner with whom she can be with in harmony; not competition.
The definition of what this is precisely running through me, is actually a process.
It is the process of being in love..
This verb that freely flows within me is far from love.
To love someone is to have a profound, tender affection towards someone..
But to be in love with someone, like I am, like we are, is more like being surrounded, submerged, within all of the feelings we have for eachother. Eachother as one word, not two.
So, lately I’ve been loving this process..
I caught myself blatantly staring at you and my stomach got painful butterflies..
My stomach turned up in knots at the thought that I had such a plethora of feelings for someone so quickly and that I let myself do so..
..But it feels so good to defy my instincts & let my soul sink to float in bliss..
And so my heart drops every times I see you, think I see you, think I see your shadow..

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Ask Older Generations To Describe Our Generation In One Word

Ask older generations to describe our generation in one word; what do you think they’ll say? We’ll be everything in the book but the Child of God. Why is that? Their biggest thing is that we don’t follow the rules or paths that previous generations or tradition has set out for us. Why is that?
Our generation tries so hard, too hard even, to be different. It is what we dare.  We are far more daring than any other generation there has ever been. We will die our hair red or green. We will get tattoos on our wrists, hands, fingers, etc. We will wear bright colors and wacky designed fingernails. We don’t want to be like previous generations, we want to be different. We’d rather create a legacy of diversity in opposition to one of the ‘norm’ or something traditional. All the while, older generations do not agree with these things because it is not something they would do or they’ve been taught. But because it hasn’t been done before, does that mean that it’s wrong? Should it be frowned upon? Should we be stereotyped in all the wrong ways? Our generation is by far one of the strongest.
Our generation is one of the most misunderstood generations to ever exist. Older generations interpret our actions and thoughts as ones of rebellion. We urge you all to think again! As a whole, we’d much rather be classified as what we really are and what we set ourselves out to be. While you all would rather we have natural hair colors, have no piercings, wear mellow colors, wear matching socks, we choose not to. Not in an effort to be rebellious, but rather to not walk in your footsteps and create some of our own. So the next time you think that we’re being plain ol’ hard headed or not listening, think again..we are listening, we’re listening to ourselves; we’re being individuals. ≈≠

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

ATMs: Just as Dirty as Public Restroom Toilets?

          Studies in England show that ATMs contain just as much and the same bacterias as public restroom toilets. As disgusting as this 'new found information' may sound, I'm not shocked one bit. Instead, it's more of a 'fun' or 'interesting' fact to me..
          One thing I feel as though some of us lack is the ability to understand that bacteria is everywhere, despite what we we're taught from adolescence. From adolescence, we're taught that germs are everywhere and that they're on every object that we touch. As a result, we are taught to wash our hands frequently. But do we do that? 
          Do we feel content using a public computer and wiping our face immediately afterward? Think of how many people pick their boogers in WalMart, take a few bucks out of their wallets, pay the clerk and you end up receiving that money back as change. Bacteria is here an it isn't going anywhere. Think about the cart you're pushing in WalMart, ever think that the lady who pushed it prior to you didn't have a tissue and she wiped her nose with her hand and proceeded to push her cart? Studies show that out of 67 randomly selected $1 bills, 87% of them contained bacteria that could cause infection. This shouldn't be new news to us, we've all been informed of the hazards of virtually object we touch. We as people need to take the knowledge that we have and put it to use.
Let's not be strangers to hand sanitizer, moist towelettes, and frequent hand washing. ≈≠
Find more information here:
Dirty money: As filthy as Public Toilets
Reports: ATMs As Dirty As Public Toilets 

My Mother Is On Facebook!

          The truth is, my mother is NOT on Facebook, thank goodness. But there are numerous other young adults our age whose parents have jumped aboard the Facebook bandwagon. Question is: Why? All the while, you may ask them "Why are you on Facebook?" We all know why: to be nosey; to fit in; to 'stalk' their child; to catch their child in a lie; to see how their child speaks or acts when they aren't around; to see their child's significant other (are they up to par?); to see how they are spending their time; to create a commonality to bring them closer; to monitor their child's events; to beat them in Facebook games; in a nutshell: to be a nuisance and to waist time!
           So, when you ask your parent(s) why they're on Facebook, what do they say? To connect with my past friends; I ain't too old for a Facebook; I got a life too! It's a social network, I'm being social; and Don't worry about it! Despite what they say, we know it's all an excuse.
          You all know your parents best. You know whether they're genuine or not with their 'excuses'. But the fact is, Facebook should not be their thing. I'm not talking any laws up, and I know Facebook was created for everybody, but it was our thing first. Parents on Facebook make us uncomfortable and we aren't able to be our true selves with them there. Even our friends' parents on Facebook can be an issue. The comment on our posts. They write on our walls. They judge us based on what we post. It's annoying and embarrassing. It's equivalent to walking your child all the way into their first period class and giving them a kiss on the cheek.. in high school!
          Parents, Facebook is our thing, let us have it. We wouldn't take old school from you. Facebook is a younger generation's toy, and just like a child, (as we are yours), WE WANT IT BACK & WE WANT IT ALL TO OURSELVES! So please, parents, go find something more age appropriate for you, your age, and your friends..we'd highly appreciate it. (..Or we'll block you :)!!)  ≈≠

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Crash of Job Boards

          Monster? Career Builder? Snag-A-Job? Craigslist? Sound familiar? If you've ever been out of a job or in search of a new one, you've probably been to one or more of these sites. Problem is, do you ever get the proper recognition that you deserve? How often do you really hear back from these engines with a legit and worthwhile career opportunity? Job boards have crashed due to accessibility, numerous unqualified applicants, and the impossibility to thoroughly review such a high volume of applicants.
          Supposedly, job boards are supposed to be a helpful incentive to get qualified persons employment a job that follows suit with their experience. Disappointingly, with employment inquiries and even first interviews online, the 'get up an go' has seemingly 'got up and went'. The laziness from employers posting online has trickled down to it's applicants. Another flaw of today's age and generation is pure laziness. The definition of 'job hunting' is quite rapidly transformed to waking up, getting on the web, a few clicks of the mouse and wallah, it's supposedly done. What ever happened to the days when people got up early, dressed up, and went to the places where they desired to work in order to obtain a position? Apparently, those days are ancient. What ever happened to business hours? Job hunting from nine to five? Or handling business matters between those hours? Currently, companies will call you after business hours or even late at night for a job inquiry. Yet again, another example of how unprofessional-ism trickles down from employers to inquirers.
          Unqualified applicants are another reason why job boards are ineffective. As if posting online isn't bad enough as it is, given the high volume of applicants from everywhere, unqualified, hopeful or wishful applicants don't help add to this jumbo, virtual pile of applications and serious job seekers. This adds to the hopelessness of job boards and is yet another reason not to use them.
          Let's not forget that job boards are online on the world wide web! With such a huge audience, is it really possible for employers to seep through and weed out all genuine, valuable inquirers? If employers don't have enough time or energy to recruit in a more creative way, what makes you think that they have enough time to go through hundreds of applications? We all know that the number of people who apply to businesses would be significantly lower without online ads.
          In a  nutshell, job boards have crashed due to one simple thing: convenience. The web has made it far too easy for people to apply to jobs. Thus, making it impossible for anyone genuine to really get through. The chance of landing a job using job boards are just that: chance or probability. ≈≠

Here are a few tips on how to stand out to potential employers (besides the obvious):
  •  Have a fool proof resume
  • Have a professional edge when making physical or verbal contact
    • Always have one good professional outfit clean and ready to go for interviews or inquiries in person.
    • When calling places, always use manners and have an enthusiastic demeanor.
    • Ensure that you are properly groomed, hair is neatly cut or restrained and all piercings are removed (two earrings in each ear maximum, no larger than a dime).
  • Prepare for interviews questions
    • Look online for commonly asked interview questions and prepare your answers well before your interview date.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Would You Rather Have the A or the B?

Based on Dr. Phil's "Whatever It Takes" Episode on Friday, January 7, 2011.
          Would you rather get an A that you cheated for, or a B that you earned? This question is quite controversial and is stirring up a lot of chatter everywhere. If you caught the episode, you witnessed quite a bit, despite what you think. As Dr. Phil asked what was supposed to be his entire audience, he aimed all of his 'cheating questions' towards one or two Caucasian females sitting in the front row. Also, when he revealed clips of 'secret cheating tactics and techniques' all of the subjects were Caucasian as. Not surprisingly, his live subject(s) on stage were Caucasian as well. According to a poll/survey that Dr. Phil did, 64% of test takers cheat. While this may be hard to believe, think about who he surveyed. Was Dr. Phil's audience skewed? If so, his answers sure are as well. 
          Supposedly, cheating is something that is shunned upon, as we all learned this from adolescence. However, according to Dr. Phil's audience, it's quite 'in'. As Dr. Phil introduced a new cheating technique to his 'knowledgeable student' she said "..I've seen something like that done, but never actually done anything like that. That's really creative, I can't believe I've never thought of that! I need to use that one!" as she laughed.
          The saying "Times have changed" certainly rings true in instances like this. Cheating has always existed. However, as times progress, the willingness and shamelessness to cheat has certainly sky rocketed. We live in a country where winning is all that matters, at all costs. Today's generation is so desperate for moral and values that they're seeming doing the complete opposite. As seen on this episode, parents are now teaching their children to cheat! Disappointingly, it doesn't matter how you get there, as long as you do.
          From a totally different point of view and with respect to Dr. Phil's audience and subject(s) on this particular episode, why were they all Caucasian as a whole? Was he trying to make a point? Was he being biased? Was he showing favoritism for his own race? Was he saying that other races don't cheat? Was he not interested in what other races had to say? Does he care about other races' academic behaviors? Whatever the case may be, bias seems to ring the loudest. It doesn't seem fair to other races that only Caucasians were there to speak out on their academic habits. And it more than certainly doesn't seem fair that the only people there to represent what was supposed to be America's demographic were Caucasian people. If other races were prominent that day in the audience to take part in the survey, the results would have been different. ≈≠

*As always, feel free to comment and share your thoughts on this is well! I love diversity (and a great debate)!*

Friday, January 7, 2011

eBooks in Public Schools?

          To adopt or not to adopt eBooks into regular education curricula? This question seems to be slowly but surely floating around and is becoming more of an idea than anything. However, eBooks are too premature to be fit into anything that's solid with structure. eBooks must first transform themselves before they can transform any other aspect of life. They're too new, and before creators of eBooks and eBook machines, they should be tested and critiqued, as everything else in this world is. Seemingly, folks are getting so caught up in the idea of this new phenomenon, that they haven't truly weighed out all off it's pros and cons.
          All eBooks or eBook machines don't have page numbers. But don't give up on eBooks that fast! eBook machines/applications allow you to resume reading right where you left off at with it's virtual bookmark. Still, without page numbers, how are students able to properly cite specific findings to write a paper correctly? Both pro and con, eBooks allow you to virtually annotate. While virtually taking notes on a piece of literature does leave room for some remembrance, it cannot replace actual highlighting and taking notes or folding pages. Your brain remembers more of what you actually, physically write than what you've read. Once you've actually hand written something for yourself, what you've actually done is personalized that information so that subconsciously, your brain can remember it better. (All letters typed on a screen are the same. When you hand write something, each character has it's own personal, unique effect, causing the human brain to better remember it.) One thing eBooks have over actual books is convenience hands down. There's nothing like needing seven books for a busy day at school and having to only carry your eBook machine in opposition to seven physical books. eBook applications are even offered via cell phone. It would be so much easier to pick up your cell phone and catch up on some reading in opposition to having to carry around an actual book and God forbid loosing it or forgetting it on the bus.
          Before schools consider bringing eBooks aboard to their curricula ship, they need a plan. With respect to high school education (or below), who will be responsible for ensuring that every pupil has an eBook machine? Majority of high school education (or below) is free. Where will they get the funds to finance eBook machines? Will they be able to fit this into their budget? Or, will parents be responsible for ensuring that their children get eBooks. Would it be right for schools or the government to assume that all households can finance an eBook machine? Even if schools assign each student a temporary eBook for the year, will parents be able to handle repair or replacement fees if/when their child mishandles it? With reference to higher education, some of the same questions need answers. How are these colleges, universities, and other educational institutes going to ensure each person has an eBook machine? Will students be responsible for purchasing one themselves? This also leaves room for the responsibility to fall onto parents again. Will these institutes include the cost of eBooks right into tuition? This maybe quite cost efficient given if institutions purchase these devices in bulk, they'll be cheaper. School systems should take all of these things along with all the other pros and cons into consideration before they even consider bringing eBooks aboard. ≈≠

Thanks for reading!!! Don't forget to subscribe (follow) and feel more than free to provide me with your opinion or thoughts!! :) Have a prosperous one!!!

Introduction to 'thePLAINESTjane' / Who She Is & What She's About

Ayeeee!!! Welcome to my bloggggggg!!! This is my blogging debut and I'm #TypeHype about it. Native Baltimorian, not as plain as I seem, creative, mellow, opinionated, empathetic and more caring than I should be. Weirdo:Hands Down. I'm not too much into politics, but I'm more than into current events. You'll soon learn that BEAUTY IS MY PASSION..had to yell I'm big on music too..without music, I wouldn't be as sane as I am, lol. I care about those who don't even know me, hence my helpful demeanor. If you're looking for a great debate, you're in the right place. If you're looking for beauty & beauty product reviews, you're in the right place. If you're looking for skin care advice/tips, you're in the right place. If you're looking for conversations about music, you're in the right place. If you're looking for someone to talk to, you're in the right place. If you're looking for abstract things and/or topics, you're more than in the right place. If you're looking for a normal ass blog, you're in the right place. ENJOY!! ≈≠